One Tiny Ray of Hope
by AmazingLadar
Summary: Chandler- So let me get this straight, so my two friends die, I get Emma, then my wife dies and Emma, the one tiny ray of hope left in my life, gets taken away from me! Phoebe- There's your movie! (Set before season 9 episode 8. Intended Ross and Rachel coupling.)
1. The Accident

**Hello lovelys! My very first Friends FanFic so please have mercy!**

**Things to note: Intended Ross-Rachel coupling. Set before Season 9 Episode 8: The One With Rachel's Other Sister. (Chandler and Monica don't know about who gets Emma).**

**This won't be a particularly happy start to this FanFic. But hopefully it will be a good read.**

**Reviews are always very much appreciated and very much loved. So please review! Good, bad, long, short. I love them all and appreciate them so much. Thank you!**

* * *

Rachel and Ross were in a rush. Of course they were. They were running late for dinner plans. They're date. Of course, everyone saw this coming. They were destined to be together. As Phoebe so accurately put it: 'He's her lobster'. Rachel was quickly and messily dumping everything onto Monica, almost completely ignoring Chandler. That was no surprise either. It was no secret that Monica was just slightly more responsible than her husband.

"Okay, now don't forget, the diapers are in the front pocket. She's already had food and she should be asleep for the rest of the night. If you need me, even if it's just a small little problem, please don't be afraid to call me. I won't be mad, I won't freak out. Just call me for anything. Oh and-" Rachel rambled.

"Rache. Come on, I've taken care of Emma before" Monica assured her friend.

"Yes. Yes I know you have…" her gaze shifted on to Chandler who was sitting on the couch.

"Don't worry, I'll just be here leaving a mark on this sofa" Chandler said, lifting up his beer to emphasise his point. He wouldn't dare let anyone know how much it hurt him that no one thought he was responsible enough for a baby.

"Okay…" Rachel said, slowly inching towards the door.

"She's asleep anyways" Monica said, trying to reassure her that her baby was in safe hands.

"It's not like there's much to mess up" Chandler said, standing up from his comfort zone and trying to help his wife. "I mean, worst case scenario she wakes up and we put her to sleep."

"What?!"

"To sleep! As in sleeping! Not as in putting down!"

"Maybe this date was a bad idea…" Rachel then started moving towards her baby.

"No! Rache, you deserve a night out! So does Ross! Come on, just go. Enjoy yourself! You'll be sorry if you don't!"

"Okay… okay." Rachel was no longer inching towards the door but being forcefully pushed out by a persistent little Geller.

"Have fun!" Monica called from the hallway.

She turned back to face her husband. She was mad. Chandler nearly caused Rachel to forsaken her date. Something that she and her boyfriend had been looking forward to for a very long time. She was about to tell him of and lecture him when she saw hold his head in his hands and shake his head. She found that very quickly, her anger left and she had a hand on his shoulder, comforting him.

"Why do I always say the wrong things?" he asked.

"You mean well. And we all know that" Monica assured him. "Some things just come off… murderous…"

"Really? Well, gee, thanks! I've always wanted to sound like a killer! Now my life longs dream is complete!" Chandler flopped back down on the couch.

"You know what I mean…"

"Yes, I do! I'm going to be a horrible father that puts babies to sleep!" Chandler stood up and started to walk away. Monica hated when he got like this, doubting his abilities as a parent. Hell, they weren't even parents yet. He shouldn't have to worry about that yet. Monica took Chandler's hand and guided him to Emma's crib.

"Look" she said, gesturing at baby Emma. "This is your niece. She loves you very much and you love her just as much. That's all any child could ask for from an uncle _and_ a father. So stop worrying. You will make a wonderful parent. Will you make mistakes along the way, of course you will! But who doesn't?"

"You" he said glumly. Monica just stared at him.

"I… will make a few… along the way as well…" she finally admitted. Chandler stared at her with wide eyes. "Only a few. Like two. If even. Most likely just one. And it'll be a small one too. Nothing major."

"You can't take it back now!" Chandler exclaimed excitedly. "You said it! I heard it! I'm going to tell Joey! We will celebrate!" He quickly lost control of his excitement and raced to the door. In doing so, he bumped into the crib nearly knocking it over. If Monica hadn't caught it, Emma would have fallen. The little baby quickly woke up and started to cry. "Or hide…" Chandler corrected himself. Monica glared at him before he sprinted out the door.

Once again, the responsible one was left with the baby.

* * *

Monica had finally gotten the baby to fall asleep. She gently and carefully placed Emma back into her crib before tiptoeing back to the couch. She would deal with the husband that caused this baby to wake up in a minute. For now, all she wanted was to just put her feet up. Even if for just a second.

And that was apparently taken literally.

The phone's loud never ending ringing caused Monica to jump. She quickly moved her feet off the table and quickly grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" she answered. Her face dropped quickly. "Yes. I'll be right over" she said calmly and then placed the phone back in place.

She sat where she was for about ten seconds in shock before jumping to her feet. She ran across the hall forgetting about the baby for just a second she swung open the door to Joey's apartment and called out Chandler's name. Her husband came quickly to her side, never before seeing her in such a horrible state before.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Rachel! And Ross! Car crash!" was all Monica could manage to scream in between sobs.

"What?!" Phoebe, Joey and Chandler yelled out.

"They're in the hospital!" Monica screamed. "I just got a call."

"Come on then! Let's go!" Phoebe yelled, grabbing the keys to her taxi. Monica ran back to her apartment and picked up the baby. It was clear that no one was going to stay to watch it and she sure as hell wasn't going to leave Emma alone. They all piled into the car, not one person objecting to Phoebe driving. They only hoped they could see their friends in time.

* * *

The four of them sat in the waiting room. Emma had been taken away by one of the nurses to be in care while the four adults waited for news on their friends. Soon, the Geller parents arrived. They were just as panicked and terrified as the rest of them were. But they were told the same thing. Rachel Green and Ross Geller were still in ER. It will take time before they know how they're doing. In the meantime, they should wait in the waiting room. And so, the Geller parents joined the rest of them.

Hours passed. No news. They were all starting to worry.

"Family and friends of Rachel Green and Ross Geller?" a doctor asked as they approached the group. They all stood up and surrounded the poor doctor. "I'm afraid I have some bad news… We tried everything we could but… they're not going to make it." A wave of tears spread quickly around the six of them. It started with Monica crying into Chandler's shoulder. Then, it all broke loose. They all started crying, not holding anything back. "I am truly very sorry for your loss and when you're ready, there is the discussion of their child Emma."

"Can you… can you tell us how it happened? What happened?" Chandler asked.

"They were driving and were hit by a drunk driver." Another wave of tears spread throughout the six of them. Rachel and Ross did not deserve to die. Not now. Things were finally making sense. They had a baby, they got back together, they were going to have a happy life together as a family. But now… well, nothing's right anymore. "I really am sorry" the doctor repeated.

"Monica and Chandler Bing?" another man called out. The couple exchanged an odd look before following the man. He guided them into a separate room and sat them both down. "My name is Paul Smith. I'm with social services and am here to talk to you about Emma Geller, daughter of-"

"Yes, we know Emma Geller" Monica said, quickly cutting off the man before he said the names. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to be reminded.

"Right. Yes. Well. It says here," Paul Smith pushed a paper towards the Bings. "That if anything were to happen to Miss Green and Mr. Geller that Emma should go into the care of the Bings."


	2. The Funeral

**Hello lovelys! Happy late New Years and all that. I realize it's been almost a month since new year's… but things happen.**

**Just a reminder, this is set before Season 9 Episode 8 (but ignore the fact that Chandler got transferred to Tulsa in the series... he's still in New York).**

**Please review! I am actually very fond of reviews. All types! The good, the bad, the long and the short. So just tell me what you think!**

* * *

The whole gang – well, not any more the whole gang – piled into the room. Not just any room. _The _room.

The room crowded with people. The room with rows and rows of weeping friends. A room without a single bright colour. The room with frowns and tears and handkerchiefs wiping them away. The room with four particular people that shouldn't have outlived their child. The room with two caskets at the end that held the bodies of Ross Geller and Rachel Green.

Monica sat with her parents and together they never stopped crying. Phoebe and Joey were in charge of greeting people as they walked in, thanking them for having attended. Never an easy job. They didn't even bother trying to smile. They shook people's hands and then let them sit wherever they damn well pleased. Chandler on the other hand stood in the corner of the room, walking around in the smallest circles. Emma Geller was with a babysitter back at home. No point in adding a baby into this equation. She wouldn't understand anyways.

When the ceremony started, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler sat up in front. Monica stayed with her parents, unable to move. And then it was time to go up to speak. Monica had originally planned a very long speech, but once they asked her to step up to actually say it to the crowd, she just broke down even more. So Phoebe got up instead.

"Hi everyone" she said, an unusually depressed tone that did not fit her personality at all. "Um… well, what can I say? Ross Geller and Rachel Green. They were the best friends that anyone could ever ask for. They were funny and loyal and honest. Ross would never fail to make us laugh and if you needed a shoulder to cry on, you bet your ass you could count on Ross. Rachel would always be there for us if we needed any advice. Boy trouble, family trouble, job trouble… she would help. Interview advice, fashion advice, life choices advice… she would give it!" Monica let out another burst of tears and Phoebe knew that it was time for a different approach. "But you know what? Let's not focus on the fact that they're dead. I mean, yes, they _are_ dead. Trust me, I checked. But we shouldn't _only_ focus on that! They lead wonderful lives, influenced wonderful people and brightened up many people's days. I don't think they'd want to spend their last day with us weeping. So let's liven up!"

Phoebe quickly ran into the room nearby and returned carrying her guitar case. This brought a lot of confusion to most of the guests, but to the four friends it actually brought the corner of their mouths up only just. Phoebe unpacked her guitar and stood in front of the crowd of people, smiling and holding her guitar tightly.

"Okay, this is a song that I wrote ages ago. It was about Rachel and Ross and this one girl called Julie, but she doesn't really matter any mor-…" Phoebe rambled, clearly forgetting that Julie was in fact invited to the funeral. "Oh, hi Julie! Yeah, I see you! Anyways, so this was about them and I performed it to all of them changing the names. They didn't realise it, but maybe now that I perform it again, you'll all see it." Phoebe cleared her throat again, ignoring some of the looks she got.

"There was a girl, we'll call her Betty  
And a guy, let's call him Neil  
Now I can't stress this point too strongly...  
This story isn't real.  
Now our Neil must decide  
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?  
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly?  
Or will it be the one who we'll call... Loolie?  
He must decide, he must decide,  
even though I made him up, he must decide!"

There were several people who clapped for her, most looked very confused to the song. Some people even gave her a dirty look. But Monica was smiling for the first time today. Joey and Chandler even managed a small smile. Leave it to Phoebe to bring up their spirits.

"I realise that some of you find this totally inappropriate, but… I don't care!" Phoebe said, still smiling. "Now, this is another one of my songs. Probably my most famous, so you know, if you know the lyrics, SING ALONG! Don't be crying! Sing with me!" Phoebe fixed her guitar strap again and cleared her throat one more time.

"Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,  
What are they feeding you?  
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat  
It's not your fault…"

Nearly the entire room started singing along, standing up and clapping their hands along with the song. It was all they could do to keep from breaking down and sobbing themselves into insanity.

* * *

"They won't take you to the vet!" Monica exclaimed, walking up the stairs to her apartment with the aid of her husband. "You're obviously not their favourite pet!" She continued to scream-sing as she brushed away some of the last of her tears.

"Monica, are you okay?" Chandler asked.

"Never better" she croaked. "Smelly cat, smelly cat-"

"Monica-"

"IT'S NOT YOUR FAAAAAULT!" Monica let out a little giggle at the last note.

"Monica, Emma is sleeping inside. You don't want to wake up the whole apartment building."

"And why not?"

"You had a bit too much to drink, didn't you?" Monica just laughed. Chandler took that as a confirmation. He sighed and pushed open the door. The babysitter inside stared at the two as they walked in. she wasn't sure whether to be angry at the couple for waking up the baby or feel sorry for them for going to the funeral.

"Well, Emma _was_ asleep" she said ungratefully. "Give me a second and I'll put her back to bed. Then I'll leave."

"Thanks, Cassy" Chandler said. The woman just nodded and walked back to Emma's crib. Chandler then walked Monica to their bed. He lay her down and helped take of her shoes and tuck her into bed. She fell asleep almost instantly. Then, Chandler walked out to dismiss Cassy and pay her for staying the extra two hours that she stayed for last minute. He opened the door to main room where Emma's crib was. Cassy was still holding her and rocking her back to sleep.

"Mr. Bing" Cassy whispered with the smallest smile on her face. Chandler pulled out his wallet.

"How much do I owe you for the extra hours?" he asked. Cassy just shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. It was a funeral. Not exactly a favourite pass time, so don't worry about it. Emma was so well behaved anyways. It's not like I did much here."

"Thanks…" Chandler said and shoved his wallet back into his pocket. He opened his arms and Cassy place the little sleeping baby girl into his arms with a smile on her face.

"She's very beautiful" Cassy said.

"Yeah… she my tiny ray of sunshine." Cassy smiled at the man holding the little baby. Then her phone went off. Cassy quickly turned it off and headed for the door.

"I better be off" she said. "I'd hate to wake her up. She's such a little angel until you wake her up." Chandler smiled and nodded, understanding exactly what she was talking about.

"Don't worry about it, Cassy. Thanks for all your help."

"Don't mention it." Then she left the room and gently closed the door behind her. Chandler stared down and the bundle of joy in his hands.

"Hey, sunshine" he whispered softly at her, careful not to wake her up. "You're so beautiful, you know that? You're probably the only one who can bring us out of this dark tunnel. You're probably the only little ray of sunshine that can lead us all out. And you're barely six months old." He placed the baby back into her crib and just stared at her lovingly, as a father would stare at his daughter.

"You're our one tiny ray of hope."


	3. The Mask

**Hello lovelys! **

**I realize it's been ages since I last updated and you can kill me later. For now, just enjoy this update. I'll try to post more often. Sorry again for the lateness!**

**Hopefully this chapter makes up for it? Maybe?**

**Despite how awful I am at being quick to update, I'd love for you all to review. I don't deserve it, but please do! Love me!**

* * *

February 12th 2004

Monica stared at the scene in front of her. She should be happy. She should be so extremely and exceedingly happy. She should be jumping up and down with joy. But she wasn't.

Monica should be standing up there next to the bride. She should be holding to rings to give to the bride and groom. She should have been the best maid of honour ever known to the world. But she wasn't.

Instead, she was standing in the back of the hall, arms crossed and a glare fixed onto her face. She was replaced as maid of honour long before the actual wedding day. But that wasn't why she was in the back she didn't care about being maid of honour any more. She didn't care about anything anymore. And for that reason, she didn't see how anyone else could care about anything. She didn't see how a wedding was at all appropriate. Even if it was the wedding of her best friend.

"Monica?" Chandler asked, walking towards her. Monica turned her head to face her husband but didn't say anything else. "Monica, the ceremony is about to start. Don't you think you should take a seat in the front with them?"

"It's too soon" Monica said quietly.

"What's too soon? The wedding?"

"You'd think they'd care. How could they do this?"

"Mon… it's been over a year" Chandler said quietly and cautiously. Monica glared at him.

"What does that change? They should be here. Both of them. But they're not." She then turned her head away to fight back any tears that threatened to fall. She knew that weddings were supposed to be happy. She shouldn't be here crying.

"You can't let this keep you from living a happy life. Phoebe and Mike didn't. They're getting married today. You should be enjoying this with them. It's what Ross and Rachel would have wanted."

"How do you know?" Monica asked.

"Monica…"

"I can't do this" she said and started to walk away.

"Monica!" Chandler called after her. But there was no point. She just walked back to the apartment. Chandler shook his head and walked back to the bride and groom. Sure, it was bad luck for them to see each other before the wedding actually started, but how much worst luck could they get?

"Hey, is Monica coming?" Phoebe asked hopefully while juggling Emma in her hands. Chandler shot her an apologetic look before taking the squirming baby.

"It's just too much for her" Chandler said softly as he tried to rock Emma to sleep. Phoebe nodded with an understanding look on her face.

It was an unspoken understanding between all of them. Monica had reacted to the death of their friends the worst. After all, she didn't just lose two friends. She lost her brother and her best friend – soon to be sister-in-law. She lost the boy who had been her childhood friend, supporter. The boy who stuck with her through thick and thin. They had so many memories together, so many good times. And now he's gone. Then there was Rachel, her best friend. She had seen Monica at her worst and seen her at her best. At both moments, Rachel loved her like a sister. Rachel would go to Monica in her time of need and she knew that she could go to Rachel for anything. At least, she used to. Not anymore.

To make matters worse, she was left with Emma. Every morning, when she went to help Chandler with the baby, she no longer saw 'Little Baby Emma'. She saw 'Daughter-of-my-dead-friends'. When she looked at Emma's face, she didn't see the baby face that everyone else saw. She saw Rachel's eyes, Ross' nose. And it was killing her.

She couldn't stand to look at Emma any more. Most of the time, she didn't even have the energy to get out of bed at all.

It had been a year and three months. But that didn't make anything easier. In fact, it made it worst. She saw how everyone else was moving on, getting on with their lives. And she would just stare at them in shock. How could they already be moving on? Monica knew there was no way in hell she'd ever recover from this loss. And everyone feared exactly that. That she would never recover from it all.

From the day of the accident, Chandler had to put on a brave face. For Monica's sake. He wouldn't allow her to see him upset. If she did, it would just make things worse. So from day one, he would greet her with a smile. He would take care of Emma and do all the house work. He would pay the bills and do the jobs. And then at night, he would kiss Emma on the forehead and tell her a sweet bed time story. Then, he'd hold his wife as she cried herself to sleep. Never once letting his mask slip.

* * *

May 16th 2004

"Alright…" Chandler muttered to himself while setting up the video camera. "Everyone ready?" he called out.

"Yeah, yeah. We're ready" Phoebe called out impatiently. Chandler smiled and pressed the record button. He then turned to join the group.

"Hi Emma!" they all called out to the camera.

The video had been Rachel's idea, before she had passed away. She wanted to make a video on every birthday Emma had then give the video to Emma on her 18th birthday. It was Monica's idea to carry out that idea this year. The group took that as a good sign. A sign that she was finally getting better. So, they all agreed happily.

"So, while you're watching this, it's your eighteenth birthday" Chandler explained to the camera. Monica then came into the shot holding two year old Emma.

"And this is you sixteen years ago" Monica said to the camera. Little baby Emma laughed the most adorable laugh that made everyone smile.

"So here's all of us" Phoebe said. "Wishing you a happy second" She pinched baby Emma's cheek "and a very happy eighteenth birthday!"

"Happy birthday Emma!" they all called out at once. Chandler stood up and walked back towards the camera and shut it off.

"That's great" Chandler said enthusiastically. "Thanks guys." They all smiled in response and turned to the food that was provided by none other than Monica.

Monica walked towards her husband and handed him the baby. He looked at her confused and almost worried. He thought that everything was going better but now he understood. She had put on a mask much like the one he had put on. Only hers wasn't as strong and it was finally falling.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I don't feel very good" Monica admitted.

"Mamma?" Emma asked.

"I'm not your Mamma" Monica said sadly. Chandler, shocked by how forward she was, quickly put Emma on the floor.

"Go to Auntie Phoebe" Chandler said in a light tone. Emma listened and almost ran – as much as a two year old could run – to Phoebe and Mike.

"What was that about?" Chandler asked Monica.

"What? It's true" she said, not seeing the problem.

"She's two."

"Why lie to her now?" Chandler just continued to stare at his wife. She must not be feeling well. Even just after the accident, she was never like this to Emma or even him. Maybe it was the pressure of the mask she had on all this time. Maybe she was breaking down. Chandler put a hand to Monica's forehead and felt her burning up.

"Wow. You really don't look so good" he said and kissed her forehead.

"I don't feel so good either" she admitted. "I think I might just lie down for a bit."

"You tired?"

"As always."

"Okay. Go, rest. I'll make sure Emma has a good day."

"Thank you."

And with that, Monica returned to her room and Chandler returned to the guests and Emma. He tried his best to keep the mask up, now more than ever. And it seemed to work. For the most part. Phoebe was holding Emma, talking to Mike about having their own kids. And Chandler used this information as a way to keep his mask in place.

"Where's Monica?" Joey asked the question they were all wondering.

"Oh, she wasn't feeling too good" Chandler said. "I think she's got a cold or the flu or something."

"Chandler, she's had the flu for months now. There are only so many times you can use that excuse" Phoebe said.

"No, she honestly is sick. She was burning up and everything."

"She should go to the doctor" Mike said. "Don't they say that if you keep having symptoms after a week to go to the doctor?"

"Yeah, she went already. They said she was fine."

"Or is that what she told you?" Joey asked. And for that brief moment, his mask fell. What if he was right? What if she was actually a lot worse than she let on?

* * *

November 19th 2004

They were arguing. It had been a long time since their last argument and it was about time it came around again. Chandler just hoped that they could keep their voices down so that Emma wouldn't hear. He truly treated her as his own daughter and the last thing he wanted was for this poor baby girl to have to go through another awful moment with her guardians.

"I can't _believe_ you quit your job!" Monica yelled.

"Mon, _you're_ the one who always told me if I wasn't happy with my job I should just move on to another job! To one that would make me happier! So I am!" Chandler retaliated.

"Yes, but that was _before_ Emma! Before we had someone else to take care of! Now _I_ have to support both of you! And I can't do that!"

"I'm not going to be permanently unemployed! I've already got another job, I told you that."

"An unpaid intern! That's not a job. You need to ask for your old job back. Beg and plead."

"I'm not going to ask for my job back. I _like_ advertisement. You have to start somewhere, so I'm going to start at the bottom. It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is a big deal! You're unemployed! Why is that so hard to understand? Why can't you just get your job back?!"

"Because it made me miserable! I thought you'd support me!"

"Well, I don't! You need an actual job. An internship is _not _a job! Give me one good reason why you shouldn't get your job back!"

"Because for the first time in almost two years I'm doing something for me and only me." He regretted saying that as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He never meant to bring in how he was sacrificing himself for those years. He never meant to throw that in her face. And yet he had. He put a hand over his mouth, as if hoping that would taking back the words.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Monica asked quietly.

"Nothing. Forget I said anything" Chandler said quickly and walked out of the room to be with Emma.

"So you'll get your job back?"

Chandler didn't say anything. Instead, he walked out the door with Emma in his arms and her bags. He would take Emma to nursery school, then he'd go to the coffee house – more like bar – and try to rebuild his mask. He had worked too hard on it for it to just come crumbling apart now of all times.

It was 1 o'clock when Chandler got a called that turned his world upside down.

"Hello, this is St. Luke Roosevelt hospital calling on behalf of Monica Geller-Bing. She collapsed at work and had to be taken into the hospital for immediate care-" Chandler didn't wait for the rest of the conversation. He snapped the phone shut, pulled out a couple of bills from his pocket to pay for his drinks, and ran out the door. He hailed a cab and made his way to the hospital, worried out of his mind for his wife.

He burst through the doors of the hospital and ran up to the receptionist.

"Monica Geller!" he practically shouted at her. "She was brought in here. She collapsed at work, she's my wife. What happened?"

"Sir, please calm down" the receptionist said calmly. Chandler just stared at her. How could she be so calm?! "Let me just look into the records…" Chandler waited, trying to be patient, but failing. "She's still in ICU. Why don't you take a seat, I'll let you know when she's out."

It felt like his heart had just stopped beating. It felt like it was just torn out. What the hell was wrong with his wife?!

He sat down in the waiting room like he was told to. His head was in his hands and he kept tapping his foot. He could only wait for the receptionist to call him. he had to wait. That was just it. He had to wait. Constantly waiting to know if his wife was alright! How was that fair?!

His phone rang and he practically jumped right out of his seat in surprise. He quickly answered.

"What?!" he yelled in the phone.

'Um… Mr. Bing?' Chandler pulled the phone away to see the caller ID and found it belonged to the secretary at Emma's nursery.

"Yes?" he said, much more calm.

'It's past 1:30. Nursery school ended an hour ago. Emma is waiting patiently for you.'

"Ah, shit!" Chandler cried out. He started to pace the waiting room. His day was just getting worse and worse.

'Is everything okay?' the secretary asked.

"Yes. everything is just so goddamn fantastic!" Chandler took a deep breath, finally realising his mask was now almost completely undone. "Sorry" he said calmly. "I'll get someone to pick her up. I'm really sorry thanks for staying with her."

'Just… hurry up' the secretary. 'And take care of yourself.' Chandler debated responding to that but in the end just hung up. He then dialled the number he now knew by heart.

'Hello?' the woman answered.

"Cassy" Chandler said thankfully. "Thank God you answered. It's Chandler Bing. I'm really sorry, but can I ask a huge favour from you?"

'Um… sure…"

"I'm in the hospital with my wife and Emma is at nursery school-"

'Oh my God-'

"Can you please – _please – _pick up Emma? Take her back to the apartment. There's a spare key on top of the door frame. Please, if I had anyone else to call, I wouldn't bother you."

'No, it's fine. I just finished off with my other family. I'll be at the Nursery School in a couple minutes.'

"Thank you _so_ much."

'Oh, God, I hope everything's okay. I won't keep you anymore. Don't worry, Emma's in safe hands.'

Chandler didn't bother thanking her again. He just shut off the phone and returned to his seat. He resumed his original position, head in hands and tapping foot, his only thought on his wife.

It was nearly an hour later that a doctor finally approached him.

"Mr. Bing?" he asked. Chandler quickly stood up and walked towards the doctor.

"Yep. That's me. What's up, doc? How's Monica?"

"I'm Doctor Gregory Lewis. Let's talk…" with those two words, Chandler's world came crashing down. He knew nothing good would come from this talk. But, he fought back the tears, and joined him on a walk through the corridors and tried very hard to focus on the actual words that came out of his mouth.

"Monica was brought in because she collapsed at work-"

"I know what happened. Please just tell me what's wrong with my wife…" the doctor gave him an odd look.

"She hasn't told you, has she?" Chandler's heart stopped. What hadn't she told him?

"No… Why? What's wrong? What didn't she tell me?"

"She went for a check up on May 10th. You know of that, right?"

"Yes…" he said softly "she had a high fever for months." Pieces were starting to fall in place, but he didn't want them to. He wouldn't allow them to. "She said… she said she was fine…" his voice broke several times, but he didn't care. And when the doctor gave him a sympathetic look, what was left of his well-built mask completely fell apart and he burst into tears.

"She was diagnosed with Leukaemia" Doctor Lewis said softly. Chandler just nodded. At this point, anything that was said to him wouldn't have any effect on him. He was too far gone. "More specifically" the doctor continued "Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. It's very rare type of Leukaemia, especially for her age, but it's the most risky." Chandler just kept nodding along with the doctor, tears streaming down his face. He wasn't fully paying attention to what he was saying. He just couldn't.

"So…" Chandler said softly, still not entirely trusting his voice. "How long… does she… " another sympathetic look from the doctor and a new wave of sobs overtook the man.

"Without any treatment, she was lucky to have lived this long. At this point, it's fatal. She doesn't have long at all anymore."

"What do you mean without treatment?" Chandler asked, a new anger found in him. "How could you just let her die?! For months?!"

"She didn't want chemotherapy" the doctor explained calmly. "Without her consent, we couldn't do anything." The doctor finally stopped in front of a room. A room that Chandler assumed belonged to Monica. He pointed to the door and the doctor nodded. Without another word, he walked into the room.

Monica was lying in a bed, an IV tube in her wrist and a respirator. Chandler's heart broke at the scene then he walked towards her and collapsed at the chair by her bed. He held her hand in his and started to weep again. Monica opened her eyes and saw her husband by her side. At that point, she couldn't help but smile.

"Hi, Chandler" she said softly. He lifted up his head and stared at her incredulously. How could she be so calm? How could she be so happy? She was _dying_!

"Six months" he said in a low raspy voice. He wanted to continue but couldn't. Monica knew what he was referring to and just smiled weakly at him.

"I didn't want you to worry" she said.

"Well, look how well that worked out!" he snapped, tears still streaming down his face. Finally he calmed back down to his depressed state. "Why didn't you take the treatment?" he asked at last. "Was it too expensive? You know we could have found a way to pay bills. You didn't have to go through this. At least not alone. You could have told me. I would have found a way-"

"It wasn't the money" she said at last.

"Then _what_?" he was desperate at this point. He wanted to understand.

"You were all moving on. I wasn't. I never could." Chandler was just shaking his head. No. no. this wasn't happening. "and Emma… every time I look at her, it's just a reminder of what I've lost. It's better this way."

"So instead of letting us help you…"

"I tried to make my last months as happy as possible" Monica finished.

"You could have told me" Chandler said, his voice low and shaky with all the tears that were just pouring out. "You didn't have to be alone. I could have help-"

"No. you couldn't have. This isn't something that needed help. Just acceptance."

"What about Emma?"

"She has you. I've seen the way you are with her. She's lucky to have you as a dad. You won't ever leave her, I know you won't. But I can't do this anymore."

"Monica-"

"Shh…" she moved her hand to caress his face. She gave him a smile as her first tears started to fall. "Saying goodbye to you was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do" she said softly. Chandler just started to cry harder, leaning into her touch.

"Then don't-"

"It's can't be helped anymore. You can't do anything about it anymore."

"I love you Monica…"

"I love you too, Chandler…" she still had the smile on her face and he tried to return it. Instead, they just stared into each other's eyes, Chandler's body shaking with every wave of sobs.

And suddenly, the monitors went wild. Beeping at an incredible pace. Chandler quickly stood up and walked to the door.

"Doctor! We need a doctor in here!" he yelled out. He looked back at Monica who still had the smile on her face. And her monitor flat lined. "WE NEED A DOCTOR! NOW!"


	4. The Aftermath

**Hello lovely!**

**I'm truly awful, aren't I? Two months since I updated and I even promised an update last week but failed. Wow I suck. I don't even have an excuse. I knew what this chapter would be about, I had the time I just…didn't write it. Forgive me?**

**Got a lot of review from people of Monica's death, saying it was too sad but… I mean, I did warn you. Just read the summary again, I told you what would happen.**

**Also, I feel the need to say this so small spoiler alert ahead! **there is a happy ending****

**Please review despite my lateness and the sadness. I love reviews! All types!**

* * *

November 22nd, 2004

It was the day after Monica Geller-Bing's funeral. It was the most depressing day anyone ever lived. The funeral preparations were rushed and it cost more money than it should have to organise, but that was because they felt it would have been better to have her funeral on the anniversary of their Ross and Rachel's death. They thought it would be poetic, or significant. But it wasn't. it just made the whole ordeal that much worst.

That funeral was filled with tears. Even Phoebe couldn't find it in herself to smile or try to sing a song. They were all too depressed. The Gellers' sobbed the entire day. It was one thing for the parents to outlive one child, but to outlive both of them… they couldn't bear it. They're last child was gone, and they never got a chance to really tell her how much they loved her and how proud they were of her. For the others, it was the day marked with death. When they're group of 6 very close friends halved into only 3. It was awful.

Chandler had called Cassy over to take care of Emma. She quickly agreed, knowing that this would be an awful day for the whole group, especially the husband. So Chandler was at the funeral and he didn't even bother trying to put back together the mask he had once perfected. It was too hard and he just couldn't be bothered anymore. So, instead, he got completely drunk and tried to force his depression away with another round of tequila shots. Of course, all they did was worsen his hangover.

And so that brought him to now, the day after the funeral. He had spent the night at Joey's so he wouldn't wake Emma up. Cassy had spent the night at Chandler's house so that she could take care of Emma. She didn't mind, though. In fact, she offered. She knew it was a difficult time for him and she offered to always be there for him. and for that, Chandler was so grateful.

Chandler quickly chugged down the rest of his giant mug of instant coffee, said a quick goodbye to Joey, and headed back to his apartment. He was hung over but he didn't care. He needed to see his tiny ray of hope. He pushed open the door and was greeted with the sight of Emma in a chair and Cassy making her food.

"Morning, Cassy" Chandler greeted her.

"Morning, Mr. Bing. Would you like some coffee?" she asked.

"Yes, please." Yes, he just finished a big mug of coffee. Yes, he was having another.

"So, how was it?" Cassy asked.

"Absolutely dreadful. How was Emma last night? Hope she didn't give you too much trouble."

"Oh, no. She was a little angel." She offered him a smile, and Chandler did try to return it, he really did. He just… couldn't. So instead, he pulled up a chair next to his niece and patted her head.

"In that case, how is my little angel right now?" Chandler asked. He was able to put on a small smile for Emma.

"I'm not angel" Emma disagreed, with a frown on her face.

"Okay." Chandler shot Cassy a confused look, but she just shrugged. She didn't understand it either. "Why aren't you an angel, Emma?"

"Moni said mamma was angel" Emma explained. Chandler's heart broke at the name Emma had called his wife. Moni. That was a name both Emma and Monica were fine with. Monica hated to be called 'mamma' because she wasn't. Emma couldn't quite pronounce 'Monica' so they chose a happy middle. And now he'd probably never hear her say 'Moni' again.

"That's right. Your mamma's an angel."

Silence.

Cassy awkwardly stood with her back facing the pair, pretending to still be making coffee despite the fact that she had finished quite a while ago. Chandler continued to dwell in the awkward silence. How was he going to explain this to Emma? How was he supposed to explain that her new found mother now joined her real mother?

"Listen… Emma-"

"When's Moni coming home?"

Oh, how badly Cassy wanted to jump out to the balcony, flee down the fire escape and haul some major ass through the streets to get far, far away from this conversation. Oh, how badly Chandler wished to follow her.

"Sweetie, Moni's not coming back…" Chandler said softly.

"Where she go?"

"She… went to be with your mamma…"

"Is she angel too?"

"Yes."

Both Cassy and Chandler waited anxiously for her response. Imagine the surprise when Emma simply nodded and returned to the food in front of her. So Cassy placed the cup of coffee in front of Chandler and sat down at the table, joining them with her own cup of tea. The two grown-ups exchanged a look, odd that she was taking it so well.

What Chandler didn't know was that when Monica found out she was sick and dying, she took a very long time, sitting down with Emma and talking to her about angels and Rachel. She explained to her that sometimes people have to leave, and when they do, they become angels. When Emma asked to join, Monica told her that it wasn't her time to leave and so she shouldn't. When Emma asked why her mother had to leave, Monica explained sometimes it didn't make sense to those around them, but there was always a reason. When Emma asked if her mother loved her, Monica assured her that Rachel did and the reason she became an angel was that she could still watch over her baby.

So when Emma heard that her Moni was an angel as well, she understood to some degree that she wouldn't see her again, that Monica wouldn't come back, that she loved her very much, and that she would be watching over her. And that was exactly the reason Monica took that time to explain to her what happened to Rachel. She knew that when Emma was older, she'd understand more and have more questions. But when that time comes, she knew Chandler would be there to help her. For now, though, Emma was fine.

* * *

November 27th, 2004

It was five days after the funeral. Eight days after Monica's death. Cassy often showed up to the Bing household in the mornings to make breakfast and help Emma get ready for nursery school. She'd then take Emma to there, go to her second (her real) job, taking care of a rich couple's kids from 8 until 12. After that, she'd go to Emma's nursery school, pick her up and take her home to the Bing house and take care of her until Chandler returned home.

Chandler never asked her to do any of this. He would have, he honestly would have, if he had the money to pay for her. Cassy did this all on her own, understanding the difficult time for him. Every time, though, Chandler would offer to pay her with money he did not have. Every time, Cassy would politely decline. Truth be told, after about two years of being with the Bings, she found them to be wonderful people. Not just them, all their friends too. They were all wonderful people, and Cassy would find herself lucky to find friends like them. She would do any favours for them.

"Morning, Cass" Chandler said as the young woman entered the house with her year old copied spare key.

"Morning, Bing" Cassy said, tucking her key into her back pocket. No reason for Chandler to know how the mystery pancakes would appear on weekends.

"You know, I've always wondered how you managed to get in here in the mornings. I don't usually keep the door unlocked."

"Then how does Joey get in?"

"Nothing gets in the way of Joey and the food in my fridge." Of course, that was when Monica was still alive and cooking. But, neither Cassy nor Chandler intended on bringing that up, despite the fact that they were both thinking it.

"Well, let's see how he reacts to this" Cassy said with a smile and pulled out a frying pan from the cupboard. She pulled out flour and eggs and immediately Chandler smirked knowing exactly what she was making.

"Oh, Joey is going to go crazy" Chandler said. They both heard a knock on the door and couldn't help but laugh. "That's probably him right now!"

"I'll be sure to double the servings" Cassy said.

Chandler made his way to the door and opened it, fully expecting Joey in his boxers and an old shirt, smelling something being cooked and wondering what was cooking. Instead, he was greeted by a blonde woman who's hair was tied in a bun way too tightly. She was in a perfect suit, one to make Chandler instantly dislike her.

"You're not Joey" Chandler joked.

"Mr. Chandler Muriel Bing?"

"Yes, but you can call me Budda." The woman just blinked twice. "You know… budda.. BING!" Chandler joked, complete with hand gestures. The woman audibly sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm Chandler Bing. And you are…?"

"Miranda Grove, I'm from social services" the woman said. Chandler's eyes widened and his jaw hung.

"Oh… um…" he glanced around the room behind him. Deciding he wanted privacy, he eased himself out in the hallway and closed the door gently behind him. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm here to talk about Emma Geller."

"Well, you've come to the right place" Chandler took Miranda's hand and shook it. "Chandler Bing, Emma's legal guardian, at your service."

"See, that's why I want to talk to you about" Miranda said, pulling her hand away from his. "I need to talk about custody of Rachel Green's baby."

"What's there to talk about?"

"That you are not her legal guardian."

"…I'm sorry, there must be some kind of mistake. My wife and I were her legal guardians when Rachel and Ross died. I've been taking care of her for two years now. There must be a mistake." Miranda seemed to have smiled before pulling out a file.

"According to the will left by Mr. Geller and Ms. Green, in the event of their death, Emma was to be left with Monica Geller-"

"Yes! Yes, that's my wife. We were her legal guardians!"

"Can I continue?" Chandler exhaled before nodding his head and gesturing for her to continue. "In the event of Mr. Geller and Ms. Green's death, Emma Geller is to be left with Monica Geller. Full stop. In the event that Monica Geller dies, Emma Geller is to be left with her grandparents, Jack and Judy Geller. Nowhere in Emma Geller's custody is a Mr. Chandler Bing mentioned." Chandler could almost feel his heart stop. He could feel the horror of reality start to set in.

"This has to be a mistake" Chandler whispered again. "I've been taking care of Emma for two years. My wife dies and… and you take Emma away from me? Why? Haven't I lost enough?"

"I'm not taking Emma away from you. She was never yours."

"Wait… are you saying I was never Emma's guardian?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But Monica and I got custody of her two _years_ ago!"

"No. Monica Geller did. In the event of the death of a legal guardian, she has to put into custody of someone else. That someone else, as specified by the biological parents of Emma Geller, is Jack and Judy Geller. Not. You."

"I'm sorry, but this has to be a mistake. I'm sure that Ross and Rachel meant for me to be a legal guardian. I mean… we were married. I'm sure it was intended that both of us were to be guardians."

"Listen, Mr. Bing, right now it is my decision as to whether or not Emma goes to you or the Gellers, and you're not doing so well. Even if you _had_ legal custody, I would _severely_ question it."

"Now I'm insulted. What could I have possibly done to give you any indication that I'm a bad parent? Ask anyone! I am a good parent!"

"Mr. Bing, you are immature, widowed, unemployed, homeless and only _barely_ scraping by."

"Unemployed? I have a job-"

"An unpaid intern."

"There's a promotion coming up. It's temporary."

"That's not good enough, Mr. Bing."

"What about homeless? I'm clearly not homeless!"

"This apartment is under Geller name. The lease runs out at the end of the year, at which point you will have to find somewhere else to go. Where will you live then?"

"… I was not informed about this."

"Well, now you are."

"I still have over a month to find a new place. I can find a good home."

"Tell you what, Mr. Bing. I'll give you until your lease is up to prove you can be a good guardian for Emma. Then I'll decide where she should stay."

"Thank you. Really, thank you so much. I'll show you. And please, do ask anyone, I am great with Emma-"

"Hey, Bing" Cassy called out to him from the doorway. Chandler turned around to face her, grateful for a friendly face. "Pancakes are done, you hungry?"

"Hey, Cass. I'll be there in a sec." Cassy nodded and started to head back inside.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Miranda asked. Cassy stopped and turned to face her.

"I'm Cassy. Cassy Bianca. And you are?"

"Miranda Grove, Social Services. Cassy? What an interesting name."

"Yeah. Cassy. Short for Cassidy."

"Cassidy Bianca. What are you doing here exactly?"

"I should be asking you the same question" Cassy retorted, but the look she got from Chandler begged her to be more polite. "I'm here to cook the Bings some breakfast and make things easier for them."

"The Bings?"

"Yes. Emma is a Bing to me, and I've been helping both Monica and Chandler with Emma for a while now."

"Oh, you have, have you?" Miranda glanced at Chandler before pulling out a pen and a small notepad. "How old are you?"

"Are you doing a background check on me? As if the Bings hadn't done that already." Another look from Chandler told her to behave. "I'm twenty five years old, if you must know. I graduated from Syracuse university three years ago majoring in Health Promotion and Sociology. I have a list of references if you would like to see those too."

"Well, that's wonderful. Do tell me why you're spending your time with the Bings, taking care of a single child. With a background like that, surely you could do other jobs. The pay must be great."

"I'm doing this because I want to. Not because of the pay. It's my own personal choice. Emma is a wonderful little girl and I've never seen her happier than when she's with Chandler."

"Ok, that's it from me. You can go back to your pancakes now." Cassy glared but went back inside. Miranda turned to face Chandler again. "A _nanny_. Do tell me, Mr. Bing, between nursery school for a _two_ year old and her _nanny_, how much time does Emma actually spend with you?" Miranda smiled at Chandler and started to walk down the hall towards the stairs.

"Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Bing" Miranda called from the stairs. "It's hard for those close to you to say you're a bad father if you're never spend time _with_ Emma. Good day." And with that, she was gone. But Chandler knew this was not going to be the last he'd see of her.

Chandler sighed and leaned against the wall by his door. He was stuck in a deep, _deep _hole, and he had just over a month to get out of it. He needed a paying job, a new home, references from friends and had to spend more time with Emma. A lot to do in just one month.

The door to Joey's apartment creaked open and a sleepy Joey emerged.

"Hey Chandler" he whispered. "Do I smell pancakes?"

* * *

December 31st, 2004

Oh, things were not going great for Chandler Bing. The job promotion he was after would be announced tomorrow. That was his last hope for a paying job. All the other ones he tried to get either weren't up to Miranda's standard or wouldn't take him. His old job certainly wouldn't take him back and Miranda said that working two jobs for the same pay isn't worth it. He wouldn't be able to spend enough time with Emma and that Cassy would make a better legal guardian.

Home wise, Chandler was doubly screwed. He couldn't find an affordable apartment that Miranda deemed 'liveable'. There were a few that Phoebe had helped him to find, but they were all a little too pricy and Chandler wouldn't be able to afford it. At least not without becoming severely in debt. And how would that help anyone? There were a few that Joey showed him (on unforgettable example would be the apartment they tried to sell Ross, with a bath tub in the kitchen), but even Chandler deemed them unliveable. Cassy was the one who got the nearly perfect apartments, but they never seemed to be enough.

So this led Chandler to where he was now. Taping the last box closed, ready to pack up his entire apartment and move in with Joey just across the hall. He was ready to kiss Emma goodbye, in all honesty. The job might be enough to convince Miranda to keep things as they were, but that was assuming he got the promotion and assuming she'd be okay with the two of them staying with Joey. Maybe she would, but probably not.

Oh, what a glorious New Year's Eve this was.

When the last box was surely closed, Chandler pulled Emma towards him and sat her on his lap. All he could do was hug her. He didn't know if he'd win Miranda over so he wanted to spend time with her. She was his tiny ray of hope. He couldn't lose her. He had lost so much, he couldn't stand to lose someone else.

Just then, his phone rang. Chandler quickly answered it, partly angry because he didn't want to wake Emma, and partly confused as to who would be calling him at this time.

"Hello?"

'Hey! Bing!'

"Cassy?"

'Who else?'

"I thought you were spending New Years with parents…"

'Yeah, I am, but you'll never believe what I found. An apartment, two bedroom, one bathroom, beautiful kitchen, for sale, about a hundred metres away from Central Perk, so that's good news for you, and it's totally within your budget!'

Chandler sat up straight and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest.

"Cass, you better not be joking about this…"

'Come on, Bing, you know I wouldn't mess with you like that. Listen, I booked you an appointment in half an hour. You can imagine the looks my family gave me when I was booking it. Call Miranda Witch and tell her to meet you at the address. I've texted you the address, get someone to watch Emma while you're gone. I would, but I really can't. Sorry-"

"Don't be sorry. You've done so much for me, thank you so much. I'll find someone, and if all else fails, I'll bring her with me."

'It's late, Bing. Wouldn't exactly make parent of the year if you brought her along.'

"Right, of course not. Thanks, Cass. I'll keep you updated." And with that, he hung up his phone, held Emma tightly, and ran across the hall. He banged on Joey's door and yelled for him.

"What, what, what?" Joey complained as he opened the door. "I've got hot dancers in here!"

"Joey, you really gotta do me a favour. Please, please, please. My whole life depends on it." Joey hesitated before nodding.

"alright, alright. What is it? It better be worth giving up hot dancers. _Dancers_ Chandler. Hot. British. Dancers."

"I've got a last minute appointment to see an apartment that could mean Emma staying with me. I can't leave her alone, please watch her."

"But what about the Hot British Dancers-"

"JOEY!"

"Alright, alright" Joey took Emma from Chandler's arms. "I'll tell them to leave. You owe me, Chandler. You owe me British Dancers!"

And with that Chandler ran off, trusting his friend.

* * *

"And, look, this bedroom would be Emma's room. And, the apartment is walking distance to several good schools, but I would probably prefer some nicer public schools that would be a little further away. Cassy could still come over to help out on nights when I work, but most of the time I'd be able to pick Emma up from school. I've worked out a schedule" Chandler had been explaining everything to Miranda Grove, hoping this last minute appeal would be enough.

"Mr. Bing…" Miranda started, and Chandler already knew bad news was going to follow.

"No… come on, Miranda" Chandler said. "I've done everything. Job, apartment, spending time with her-"

"You haven't. The job and apartment is not guaranteed. I've decided, Mr. Bing, and I think it's in Emma's best interest to go live with the Geller's."

"No. No, Miranda, Emma needs me-"

"No, Mr. Bing, she doesn't. _You_ need her. What Emma needs is a family with steady income, guaranteed housing, and people who can take care of her. You can't offer her that. Jack and Judy Geller are her best options. So if you _really_ cared about Emma, you would do what's best for her. Let her go."

"I won't."

"I've already arranged for her to be picked up. They'll be there tomorrow at eleven. Have her things ready." With that Miranda headed towards the door. They both heard a beep from a clock. Miranda checked her wrist, turned and smiled at Chandler. "Oh. And Happy New Years, Mr. Bing."

* * *

January 1st, 2005

Chandler was hugging Emma. She was now leaving him. he had to say goodbye. God knows this was the last thing he wanted to do. He fought so hard, he wanted to stay with her. He needed her. He definitely needed her. She was his last ray of hope, and now she was being taken away from him. He didn't know what he'd do without her. He didn't know how to start.

A knock on the door was a sure way to bring him back to reality.

Chandler opened the door to be greeted by two men in suits and Miranda Grove. Her hair was done up in her usual bun and her suit seemed to be more professional than usual. Worst of all, she had the same smile she always had glued onto her face, from ear to ear. Which just made Chandler hate her more.

"Good morning, Mr. Bing" Miranda said.

"I wouldn't quite say that" Chandler said with a frown.

"Come on, sweetie" Miranda said to Emma. "Time to say bye to Chandler."

"Where he going?" Emma asked.

"It's his time to leave."

"Is he going to be angel like mamma and Moni?" Miranda blinked twice at Emma before looking at Chandler for an explanation.

"No" Chandler answered Emma's question. "I'm not going to be an angel."

"So I will see you again?"

"You can count on it." Emma hugged Chandler one last time before walking with the men in suits towards the car, blissfully ignorant of what had just occurred.

"This is for the best, Mr. Bing. I'm sure the Gellers will still let you visit her. They know what she means to you."

"I mean something to her too, you know."

"Of course you do, Mr. Bing. You mean a lot to the two year old. But then again, so does her little teddy bear that she'll forget everything about once she turns ten." With that, she turned on her heel and headed towards the door.

"Just so you know" Chandler said. "I got the job promotion."

"Good for you."

"And the land lord for the apartment agreed to my offer." This caused her to pause in her step. She turned around to face Chandler again.

"Well, Mr. Bing, I'm glad you got your life back together but it's too little too late. Have a good year, Mr. Bing."


	5. The Birthdays

**Hello lovelys! **

**I'm getting faster at updating! Yay! I'll try to update once more before I leave on a trip, but otherwise I'll be gone for most of July.**

**Just a heads up… things are going to get worse before they get better…**

**Thrilled with all the reviews, follows and favourites so far! You guys are the best! Please keep reviewing, I love them all so much!**

* * *

January 5th, 2005

Cassy made her way up the usual stairs. She had heard about the job promotion, she had heard that the landlord accepted Chandler's offer. So she figured, Emma would still be with Chandler. They'd be packing up their last essential clothing and knick knacks, and then they'd be off. So that was what Cassy was doing here. She was going to make them breakfast, laugh with them, and offer to help in any way that she could.

She put her key into the door and tried to unlock it. To her extreme surprise and annoyance, it wouldn't budge. The key wouldn't turn, the door wouldn't unlock, and the door wouldn't open. She wiggled the door knob countless times and kicked the door once.

"Bing, I swear, if this is a joke you pulled on me, it's not funny" Cass called out loudly. "if you don't let me in in the next minute, I'm kicking the door down. And you know I will." The door behind her opened.

"Cass?" Chandler asked, confused. Cassy turned around, shocked to hear Chandler's voice come from Joey's apartment.

"Bing… what are you doing there?"

"What are _you_ doing _here_?"

"I… I wanted to help with the move. I heard you got the promotion… and the apartment. I figured you were still moving."

"I've finished moving" Chandler said and he pushed open the door all the way to show Cassy all the empty boxes behind him. He had finished moving into Joey's spare bedroom.

"But… I thought-"

"You had heard correctly. I'm now a Junior Advertising Copywriter. Congratulations to me, right?"

"And the apartment?"

"They accepted my offer. But after they took Emma away… well, I just didn't see the point in it anymore." Cassy just stared at Chandler. This was news to her.

"They took Emma?"

"Yes, they did." With that, Chandler started retreating back into the apartment, Cassy closely following him. Chandler flopped onto his couch and stared depressingly at Cassy. She stared back at him in shock and outrage.

"But… _why_? You got the promotion! You got a wonderful apartment! What reason did they have to take her away from you?!"

"Apparently it was too little too late-"

"That's bullshit!" Cassy yelled. Chandler just shrugged. "And you're not helping!"

"Excuse me?"

"When did they take her away?"

"A… couple days ago…"

"And what have you done since then?"

"I…"

"You lay your ass on that couch all day every day, didn't you?!"

"What do you want me to do, Cass? They took her away! I lost! Game over!"

"I'm Chandler, I just let people walk right over me" Cassy mocked him. "'I lost', 'game over', meh, meh, meh!"

"What could I possibly _do_?!" Chandler yelled, starting to get pissed. "They took her away. It wasn't fair, Miranda's a bitch. They took her away! I did everything in my power and but it wasn't enough! What _more_ could I possible DO?!"

"Fight back! They took her away, and you lying here all day just proves them right! Your practically giving Miranda Witch a pat on the back! 'Well done! I'm clearly in no shape to take care of a little girl when I can't even take care of myself'. Stop wasting your day away and _fight back!_"

"What good would that do, Cass?! She's gone-"

"And you're giving up! When is that _ever_ okay?"

"GUYS!" a sleep Joey yelled from his room. "I was _sleeping_. It is early in the morning, far too early for an argument!"

"It's noon" Chandler stated.

"Yeah! Way too early!"

"Sorry, Joey" Cassy automatically responded. Chandler on the other hand retreated back to his room, officially done with his conversation with Cassy.

"You know how you could really show me you're sorry?" Joey asked, with his smile and a raise of his eyebrows.

"Joey…" Cassy warned.

"What? I was going to say an apology sandwich!" Cassy rolled her eyes and moved towards the fridge. Joey smiled like a little child and ran back to his room, eagerly awaiting his sandwich. After a little while longer, Chandler walked out of his room again with a suit on. Cassy stared at him in shock.

"So… how do I look?" Chandler asked.

"Well… it's no boxers and bathrobe… but it'll do. What's the occasion?"

"Work."

"Aren't you a little late for that?"

"I called in sick tomorrow morning. Imagine how impressed they'll be when I come in fighting anyways." There was a new smile on Chandler's face, the one Cassy was used to seeing. It was his determined smile. So Cassy had gotten through to him.

"Hmm… I wonder who inspired this change" Cassy said with a smile.

"I don't know… but she can be a real pain." Cassy laughed and lightly hit Chandler on the shoulder. "Besides… there's always Emma's birthday, right?"

"That's right! You do that video thing for her."

"Yes I do. And I'm going to show Miranda just how good of a father I can be."

* * *

May 16th, 2005

"Come on, we're going to be late!" Chandler yelled, banging on Joey's door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Joey yelled back. The front door opened and in came Mike.

"Phoebe's in the car" he said. "she's getting impatient."

"Yes, we're coming" Chandler assured him.

"Where's Cassy?"

"I don't know!" Chandler yelled.

"I'm here!" Cassy exclaimed, running in after Mike. "Sorry I'm late. Tommy wouldn't eat his fruit, Annie didn't want to take a nap, the parents wouldn't let me leave until I 'finished my job' despite them already being home. It was a mess."

"Great! Cassy, Mike, go to Phoebe before she kills someone" Chandler said desperately. The two followed his direction and went to Phoebe again. "JOEY! Move your ass, we're late!" Joey slipped out of his room and quietly closed the door behind him.

"I'm here" he said quietly.

"Joey, who's in the room?"

"No one…"

"Joey…"

"Her name is Alex… she's a friend of Gina's. But never mind. She'll understand. Let's go!" and with that Joey ran out the door. Chandler stared after him in shock before running after him, shooting Joey's room an apologetic glance, as if the poor woman inside could see him and understand why he was apologising.

Finally, they were all in Phoebe's death taxi and they were on their way to the Geller household it was Emma's third birthday, and they all wanted to be there. Well, more specifically, Chandler wanted to be there. He had to be there. And the rest were his friends. They wanted to be there for Chandler, through thick and thin. Chandler clutched onto his camera as if it were his lifeline. He didn't know what would come from these videos, he only knew that he had to do them.

* * *

May 16th, 2006

"Come _on_, Joey!" Chandler yelled. It was Emma's fourth birthday, and it was just becoming a repeat of last year. "Cassy just got here and Phoebe and Mike are waiting for us in the cab downstairs! Will you _move_ your _ass_?!" Chandler yelled.

Joey's head popped out of his door.

"Look, man… Alex isn't feeling so well, so… we were thinking of just… not going this year. I mean, there's always next year, right?"

"Joey, you can't be serious. It's Emma's _fourth_ birthday!"

"Look, just go on without me. It's fine. Really." Chandler groaned but ran out the door towards the death taxi waiting below. He wanted Joey to be there, but he couldn't be late. He still had a point to prove.

Cassy was waiting outside the taxi, tapping her foot impatiently on the sidewalk. When Chandler finally showed up, she gave him a mini lecture then hurried him inside the car. When they asked about Joey, Chandler muttered that he was staying behind. Cassy knew Chandler was pissed, but she understood where Joey was coming from. This was Joey's first real girlfriend. It had started out after they had slept with each other last year. They were good friends at first (met through Gina, Joey's sister) and then they slept with each other. Cassy figured that was the moment they both realised they were in love with each other. It took a few months and several fake dates to get the other to admit their feelings, but it all paid off. Joey had a girlfriend, one that everyone liked and hoped would stick around.

The ride was slightly awkward. Phoebe and Mike had also wanted to do other things on Emma's birthday, but Chandler had managed to convince them to come anyways. And now, Joey was able to skip out simply because it was last minute. They had to remind themselves several times that they were doing this for Chandler. He needed them there with him. and they were his friends. They should do this. Chandler was desperate. So they drove off towards the Geller house in silence, all contemplating how it would be next year.

* * *

May 16th, 2007

"Cassy? Where are you! I've been waiting outside for _twenty minutes_." Chandler yelled into his phone.

'Would you relax, Bing?' Cassy replied over the phone. 'I'm almost there.' Just then, a green car screeched to a halt in front of the building. Inside, Chandler was almost devastated to see Cassy behind the wheel. He almost preferred the death taxi over Cassy's driving. Almost.

"See, I'm here!" Cassy exclaimed. "and we're still early. Don't worry about it. Where's Joey?"

"He couldn't make it" Chandler said glumly as he climbed into the passenger seat. "He has his movie premiere in a couple days in Hollywood. It was a such a huge success here that they're going to do another one. It was fairly last minute, but hey. Joey's career is going just great, isn't it?"

"Awh, I'm sorry, Bing. He'll be here next year."

"Sure he will."

"What about the Buffays?" it was one of Cassy's favourite things to do to annoy Mike. Instead of calling them the Hannigan's, she preferred to call them the Buffay's. it just seemed more fitting.

"They couldn't make it. Apparently they had already made plans that were work related and they were unable to move them around or just take a couple hours out of their day to show up. Thanks for the lift, by the way."

"I'm sorry, Bing."

Cassy then started to drive away, holding on tightly to the steering wheel. She knew that now it was in her hands to make sure Chandler went through with this, that she had to be there for him. and of course, she loved Emma, she would always love to join Chandler on Emma's birthday but… she had a career to think of as well. She stared at her bag in her rear-view mirror. Inside the bag was a date confirmation for a course she wanted to take in teaching. She had decided she loved kids and she wanted to help inspire them, so she wanted to be a teacher. If she were to be a teacher, she'd have to move. Move, and leave Chandler behind.

* * *

May 16th, 2008

"I told you they wouldn't come" Chandler said, sitting glumly on his couch in his apartment. It had been Emma's 6th birthday and the only people to show up were Chandler and Cassy. Joey had moved to Los Angeles with Alex. He had signed a contract for 3 movies which guaranteed creative control. How could he turn that down? Phoebe and Mike, on the other hand, were expecting their second child in a week. Chandler figured that they _could_ have made it to the birthday if they really wanted to, but Cassy tried to defend them.

"Look, Bing, I know you're disappointed but you still did your video. You still have this tradition and you're still fighting. We'll show Miranda exactly what type of father you really are. We'll prove her wrong" Cassy said. Chandler smiled at her. She was always so full of hope and possibilities. He needed someone like her in his life and he was so grateful that she was still there.

"Thanks, Cass." She just smiled and headed over to the fridge. She grabbed two beers and headed towards the couch next to Chandler. She handed him on of the beers and sat in Joey's old chair. The couch's big movement as Cassy jumped on it caused the chair to rock back only slightly and knock over her bag. Out came all the contents and Chandler quickly stood up to help her put everything back.

Chandler and Cassy put everything back, except for one envelope that had _Cassidy Bianca_ written on the front. And in the top right corner was a logo for _Dobbs Ferry High School_. Chandler stared at Cassy in confusion. It only took Cassy a second to realise exactly what letter he was holding and tried to tackle him down to take it back from him. After a minute of wrestling, Chandler managed to steal the letter away from her and run to the kitchen and hide behind the counter. He opened the envelope and started to read. Cassy stared in horror as he finally finished it.

"You got a job offer…" Chandler said softly.

"Yeah."

"It's your dream job."

"I know." An awkward moment of silence passed between the two.

"So when do you leave?"

"I haven't even decided if I'm going to take this job." Now it was Chandler's turn to stare in horror.

"You're not going to take the job?"

"I don't know…"

"It's your _dream_ job!"

"Well, yeah, but… how could I leave the city? I grew up here. I've got family and friends here. I can't leave."

In all honesty, she could live with leaving her family. She could live with leaving her friends. She could live with leaving her home. She couldn't live with leaving Chandler and Emma. They needed her. How was she supposed to leave in their moment of need? She couldn't. And even though Cassy thought she was doing a good job at hiding how she really felt about the job offer, Chandler could see right through her.

"You should take the job" Chandler said. "Really, you should. For one thing, it's your dream job. How often do you get an offer like this?"

"But-"

"Don't worry about me and Emma. You're not too far away, right? You can still visit sometimes. And we can visit you." Cassy just stared at Chandler, still unsure as to what she should do. Chandler walked closer to her, grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Take the job."

"…Okay…"

* * *

May 16th, 2009

Joey couldn't make it to Emma's 7th birthday. He had an audition. Phoebe couldn't make it to Emma's 7th Birthday. Rachel (her first born) and Phoebus (her nearly one year old) had caught the chicken pox and she needed to be with them. Mike couldn't make it to Emma's 7th birthday. He had to be with his wife and kids. Cassy couldn't make it to Emma's 7th birthday. The ninth graders had started a food fight the day before and even though it was a Saturday, Cassy and four other teachers were forced to come in and get to the bottom of this outrage.

So that just left Chandler.

"What do you mean?" Chandler yelled into the phone.

'I'm sorry, Chandler' Jack Geller responded. 'We promised Emma we'd take her to Legoland today. She really wanted to go, and she's taking her friends with her too.'

"But… this is a tradition!" Chandler said. "I always come, every year! I come, I do the video, it's fun!"

'I know, and I'm sorry. But Emma really wanted to go. There's always next year, right?'

"But-"

'Jack!' Chandler could just hear Judy over the phone, calling out to her husband. 'We're going to be late!'

'I'm sorry, Chandler' Jack said.

"No, but, wait!" and the line went dead.

Chandler stared at his phone depressingly. He wanted to see Emma. He missed Emma. This was his thing. He always went over on her birthday and did the video. Sure, he visited other times during the year, but her birthday was his trademark. It was what he always did. And he hadn't seen Emma in so long. He just wanted to spend a day with her. And now he couldn't.

So much for tradition.

* * *

May 16th, 2012

Chandler hadn't gone to a single one of Emma's birthdays since 2008. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he really did. It was that there was always something in the way. First it was Legoland, then it was a movie coming out, her school trip. There was always something in the way. This year? Chandler had given up. It seemed he wouldn't ever get to see Emma again. Not that he didn't want to, he did. He did keep sending her cards, though. A birthday card and a little gift every year.

This year, Emma ran down the stairs on her 10th birthday. Her grandparents sang Happy Birthday and gave her their gifts. She smiled and laughed and enjoyed her cake for breakfast. Then, she noticed a teddy bear in the corner.

"What's this?" she asked. Judy checked the card on it and smiled.

"Oh, this was your Teddy!" Judy said happily. "You would never leave the house without it. You loved it so much!"

"Really?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really… how long ago was this?"

"You had it when you were a baby until you were two. I guess it stayed with Chandler after the move."

"Chandler?"

"Yeah, your uncle Chandler. You remember him, don't you?"

Emma stared up blankly but then smiled and nodded her head. It was out of politeness that she did it. The name was familiar and the gesture was nice, but the only memory she had of an Uncle Chandler was a very vague memory of a birthday, four years ago, where he and a skinny blonde were laughing together as she blew out her candles.


	6. The Videos

**Hello lovelys! Was really determined to finish this chapter before my trip as so many of you were not thrilled with my cliff hanger… I'm kind of evil. But, things are going to get better from here on out. Enjoy!**

**After this chapter I'll be gone for about two weeks, and when I get back, it's moving week. It'll be a while before I update again. Sorry. **

**Please review! I love all types of reviews, so don't be afraid to just write your honest opinion! You know you want to.**

* * *

October 19th, 2012

"So… explain to me one more time why you're here…" Chandler said sleepily. It was 11PM on a Friday. Now, normally Chandler wouldn't be so damn tired and grumpy on a weekend. The only problem was that he had promised a friend he'd cover his 7AM shift on Saturday. In turn, the same friend would cover his 2PM shift on Thursday. So yeah, Chandler's Saturday would start out dull and tiring, but at least on Thursday he could go home early and just relax, something he hadn't done for a while.

Ever since Emma's 8th birthday, Chandler had lost hope. He knew he was spiralling down and headed for a very bad route, so he found a way to busy himself. He worked non-stop, every day. Whether he worked at home or actually at work. He was constantly doing something. It kept his mind off Emma, off Monica, off all his friends who left him.

So, when a very bubbly Cassy should arrive at his door at 11PM on the Friday before his early shift, Chandler was not particularly overjoyed. Sure, he's seeing his friend again, and he's happy. But damn… he's tired.

"It's Friday, Bing. I haven't seen you in months. You didn't ask me to go to Emma's 10th and I started to worry" Cassy explained.

"I didn't ask you to go to Emma's 9th either" Chandler said.

"Yes, but that was because you already knew you wouldn't see her." Chandler looked down. He hated how little he saw Emma. The last time he saw her, she was 9 and opening her Christmas presents. Chandler was dressed up as Santa. She never knew.

"Yeah… well it's been a while..."

"I know, Bing" Cassy pushed her way inside Chandler's house without waiting for him to invite her in. it was then that Chandler realised she was carrying a rather large overnight bag. "I'm here to check up on you, okay? To make sure you didn't give up like I think you have."

"Cass, just stop. It's over-"

"It's never over!" Chandler rolled his eyes and moved on.

"How long do you intend on staying?" he asked, figuring she'd only be here for the weekend.

"Oh, about a week. Maybe two."

"What? You're a teacher. You have students. You can't just-"

"_Relax_, Bing. They're installing new IT equipment as well as renovating the science labs. There was too much going on, so they decided to give the kids a week off. And, depending on how you progress in this week, I may or may not call in sick after that."

"Cass-"

"Bing, this isn't healthy. You're burying yourself in work. I'm here to save you before you ruin yourself. So just thank me by showing me to my room."

* * *

October 21st, 2012

Chandler had wanted to go to work. Yes, it was Sunday. Yes, most people preferred to spend their Sunday with their families and their loved ones. Yes, Chandler preferred to spend his Sunday locked up in his office, surrounded by never ending paperwork. But that didn't exactly happen. Cassy called Chandler's boss and put on her best 'Chandler Sick' voice and got him the day off.

While Chandler complained, Cassy ordered pizza and bought beers. They then sat in front of the TV, waiting for their pizza and playing drinking games. Every time they saw some boob in Baywatch, they drank. Cassy hated the game, but pretty soon she was a bit too tipsy to really notice what to do. And plus, it always got Chandler in a slightly better mood. So, she figured, why not? It'll get his spirits up and they'd be able to bond like they used to when she still lived nearby.

After they ate their pizza, they started to sober up again. Cassy finally was able to tell Chandler all about her new life in Dobbs Ferry. She told him about the History Teacher scandal, about the food fights, about the inappropriateness of the Spanish teacher and she was finally able to tell him about Richard Cassablancas.

Cassy was somewhat in love with that man, and he was somewhat in love with her. They were talking about moving in and Cassy couldn't wait for Chandler to meet him. Chandler, on the other hand, couldn't help but realise he was the only one who hadn't moved on from anything. He hadn't moved on from Rachel and Ross' death. He hadn't moved on from Monica's downfall. He hadn't moved on from Emma's leave. And while he didn't want to forget, he realised he _did_ need to move on and stop living in the past.

So Cassy's trip down there was worthwhile after all.

* * *

October 22nd, 2012

Cassy woke up to a pot of coffee already made. Grinning, she poured herself a cup, only to realise how cold it was. She stared at the clock in absolute shock. It was only 8AM. How early must this coffee had been made for it to already be cold? How long did Chandler work every day? What time did he actually get up and start getting ready?

Cassy did not like the road Chandler was heading down and had tried everything in her power to stop him. She thought she made real progress the night before, but after seeing Chandler leave so early in the morning again to bury himself in work, she started to doubt it.

With a frown on her face, she walked over to the usual couches and flopped down on it. She turned on the TV, but didn't pay attention to a word that was ever said. She just kept thinking about Chandler, about how lost he was becoming. She needed to help him. She had to.

* * *

Chandler left to work at an unusually early hour. He hated his Monday shifts. The one time a week when he actually wanted to sleep in, and that stupid alarm would start screaming at him to get out of bed, to start the new week. God, he hated it.

He sat at his desk, with absolutely nothing to do. His boss came in to check up on how he was feeling. It took Chandler a moment to remember Cassy had called him in sick the day before. He quickly recovered and assured his boss it wasn't contagious. He tried to get back to work, but failed miserably. He just wasn't feeling it today, and he knew way. He was overworked. He was finally feeling overworked. After years of no vacation days and working every day of the week, Chandler was finally feeling overworked. And he figured, this could only be a good sign. Now he doesn't feel the need to bury himself in work. He was starting to cope.

Chandler was just starting to prepare for an important meeting he had when the office phone started to ring. Chandler stared at it in confusion. No one ever called him on his work phone. Never. Mostly because no one really needed to speak with him. So who was calling now?

"Hello?" Chandler answered the phone. As he listened to the other end, he couldn't help but widen his eyes in shock and start to panic. "Oh my God, is he okay?" … "I can't pick her up. But I'll send someone over. She'll be with Emma and take her to the hospital." … "Yeah, she can stay with me for a couple of weeks. It's no problem."

* * *

Cassy waited outside the school, standing outside her green car. She was very surprised to get a call from Chandler, and after hearing what happened, she was even more shocked to hear of what had happened. She agreed to it instantly and drove to Emma's school, telling the secretary inside that Emma Geller was needed. Soon enough, ten year old Emma walked out, backpack slung over one shoulder, her blonde hair in a high ponytail and her unmistakable blue eyes searching for a familiar face.

Instead, she found Cassy.

"Hi, Emma" Cassy said happily.

"Um… Hello… do I know you?" Emma asked. That was like a slap in the face to Cassy.

"My name is Cassy. Cassy Bianca. I'm a friend of your Uncle Chandler" Cassy explained, trying to keep her smile in place. As soon as her Uncle Chandler was mentioned, Emma flashed back to her birthday years ago, the blonde woman laughing with the man she assumed to be her Uncle.

"Oh, right" Emma said, nodding her head as if she remembered her perfectly. She was just trying to be polite.

"I had to pull you out of class. Something happened to you grandfather, and Chandler got held up at-"

"Something's wrong with Gramps?!" Emma practically shrieked.

"Yes, he's at the hospital now. I'm going to take you to him-"

"What happened?! Is he okay? Did he fall? Did he-"

"Emma, relax" Cassy said, grabbing hold of both her shoulders. "He's fine. I know about as much as you do. Chandler got a call from your grandfather's doctor. He needs to stay at the hospital for a couple of weeks, so they asked if your Uncle Chandler could take care of you. At least until your grandfather is out of the hospital."

"Can I visit him?" Emma asked, her thoughts still revolving around her Gramps.

"That's where I'm taking you" Cassy nodded towards her car. As soon as Emma laid eyes on the green machine, she jumped in, quickly fastening her seatbelt. The sooner she got in, the sooner she could check up on her Gramps.

* * *

Chandler had met up with Cassy and Emma at the hospital. They still hadn't visited Grandpa Jack, and Emma was starting to lose it. She was starting to cry with worry and hardly paid attention to the fact that her uncle was wrapping his arm around her trying to comfort her.

It didn't take long for the doctor to show up and explain what had happened. Jack Geller had had a heart attack. As soon as Emma heard, she starting to cry again, grumbling something about knowing his blood pressure was too high. The doctor further explained that Jack had survived and was currently still asleep, recovering. When Emma asked if she could see him, the doctor smiled and escorted her to his room, where Judy was already waiting.

It wasn't a long visit. Jack was sound asleep and Judy was too tired to fully contribute to any conversation. It then became everyone's best interest to take Emma home, so she too could get some rest. Judy handed Chandler the keys to her house so that he could pick up a few of Emma's things. Judy knew Chandler would now be taking care of Emma (hell, she had been the one to suggest it), and she trusted Emma would be well looked after.

In the meantime, Cassy drove Emma back to Chandler's. Emma was silent the whole way there.

When they finally arrived, Cassy lead Emma up the usual staircase to Chandler's flat. Emma walked through the halls and stared at the purpled door opposite Cassy. She was suddenly hit with a flood of memories. That purple door was oh so familiar. Emma walked into Chandler's flat and was hit with another wave of memories. It took her a while to remember that she did live with Chandler for two years. It was certainly possible for that to be the root of her memories.

Emma immediately asked where she would be sleeping. Cassy pointed towards the room she was staying in, Joey's old room. Emma nodded and made her way over. She closed the door softly behind her and lay on the bed. She lay there and just thought about everything.

She finally met her Uncle Chandler. She properly met him. He seemed so nice, so comforting. Which brought up only one question in Emma's eyes. Why did he give her away? She didn't understand. Was it because of the blonde Cassy girl? Did her Uncle Chandler fall in love and not want children? And then she'd feel guilty for not worrying more about her Gramps. And that was how her thoughts went about, alternating between worry for her gramps, and curiosity and slight betrayal for her Uncle.

Soon enough, Cassy knocked on the door and walked in holding a plate of cookies.

"Hey" Cassy said softly. Emma only nodded to acknowledge her presence. "I know this isn't exactly what you hoped to be doing today, but I got you some cookies. They're great comfort food. Chocolate chip."

"No thanks" Emma said. Cassy just frowned at her. A child refusing cookies. She must be depressed. "do you have any idea how unhealthy they are for you?" and that was what surprised Cassy.

"They're not that bad-"

"They're horrible. They're fat, filled with cholesterol and to eat the amount you put on the plate would surely lead to some sort of heart condition."

"Sure, if you eat them every day in absurd portions, but not if you only eat them occasionally."

"No thanks" Emma said again. Cassy just nodded her head.

"So, what do you want for dinner then?" Cassy asked, placing the rejected plate of cookies to the side. "You want pizza? Or Chinese?"

"That's even worse than the cookies" Emma muttered. "I'll cook something-"

"Emma, you're ten. You can't cook."

"Yes I can. And I have."

"Right. Well… no need to cook here." Emma shrugged her shoulders. "I'll cook" Cassy suggested. "Just tell me what, and it's done. Anything you want."

"… Mac 'n' Cheese?" Cassy couldn't help but smile at the suggestion.

"Sure thing. Mac 'n' Cheese, coming right up." Cassy started to head for the door.

"Wait…" Emma called out. Cassy stopped mid stride and turned to face Emma again. "How exactly is Chandler my Uncle Chandler?"

"His wife was your mother's sister. He used to take care of you, you know? He and his wife, Monica, had custody of you when your parents died."

"I heard" Emma said. "What happened after that?" she needed to know why Chandler left her.

"Monica got sick" Cassy said softly, not sure how to tell Emma that yet another relative was dead. "Within a couple months she… well, she passed away." Emma nodded her head. Cassy couldn't believe how well she was taking the death. But then again, Cassy realised, Emma had grown up with death. Her parents died when she was a baby, her aunt died when she was a toddler, and growing up she had to take care of her grandparents, constantly very aware of their old age and vulnerability.

"Are you Chandler's girlfriend?" Emma asked. Cassy couldn't help but laugh.

"God, no. Just friends. I used to help take care of you. Now, I sorta take care of Chandler."

"So," Emma pushed on, wanting to know more details. "about my Aunt Monica-"

"I'm home!" Chandler called out.

* * *

October 25th, 2012

Chandler had the afternoon off on the Thursday. He had never been more happy to have a day off in his life. Cassy realised the opportunity this was for him, and so she made an excuse about having to visit her family (which, in all honesty, she had to do anyways). That left Chandler to pick up Emma from school. He couldn't have been happier to do that. He was finally getting the chance to spend more time with his Tiny Ray of Hope. He needed this.

Emma walked out of the building to find her Uncle Chandler waiting for her, instead of Cassy and her green car. Chandler had to walk Emma home and take the subway, seeing as he didn't have a car. Emma didn't complain, though. She was too polite for that. Chandler tried to make small talk on the way home (asking about school and her friends), but it was never one of his strongest features.

When they arrived back home, Chandler was trying too hard to make her feel comfortable. He kept offering food or drinks or films or music. Emma would just smile politely and refuse. The food was unhealthy, the drinks were too sugary, the films were too fast and the music was too loud. She didn't want any of it. But Chandler, determined to be a good parent, offered to go down to the store to find something more suited to Emma's taste. She agreed, and so Chandler set off to find cereal bars and nutrigrain bars.

Emma, in the meantime, snooped around the whole apartment, determined to find any plausible reason Chandler had for leaving her. She kept coming up empty handed. She could find no good enough reason, and it was driving her insane. So, she concluded that the reason he left her was because he couldn't stand to take care of her after his wife died. And that so disappointed her. She had lost plenty of people in her life. She didn't need more.

As Emma was trying to put everything back so that Chandler didn't notice her snooping, she accidently knocked over his collection of videos. Most of them were Baywatch or some other weird show that he had lying about. But then Emma noticed a tape with her name written on it. Curious and hopeful, she picked up the tape and pushed it into the TV. And soon enough, it started to play.

"_Alright… Everyone ready?" _ she heard Chandler call out in the video.

"_Yeah, yeah. We're ready"_ a female, unfamiliar voice responded. Suddenly, the image started to show and she could see a big group of smiling faces, Chandler included.

"_Hi Emma!"_ they all called out.

"_So, while you're watching this, it's your eighteenth birthday" _Chandler explained. Enter woman with black hair holding a little baby.

"_And this is you sixteen years ago" _the woman said. The baby laughed and everyone around her couldn't help but smile.

"_So here's all of us, wishing you a happy second and a very happy eighteenth birthday" _the blonde woman in the middle said.

"_Happy Birthday Emma!" _They all called out. Chandler then stood up and walked towards the camera. The image went black for just a second before it came on again. This time, they were in her grandparents house. She could recognize it anywhere. Most of the same people were there, except this time instead of the black haired woman, there was Cassy. That was when Emma realised the black haired woman must have been Monica, her aunt.

It was more or less the same as the last video. They all wished her a happy eighteenth and third birthday before Chandler walked up to the camera and the image went black. A second later, a new image would appear. Her fourth birthday, one man less in the room. Happy fourth and eighteenth birthday, image went black. A second later, it would start rolling again. This time, only Chandler and Cassy were there. Happy fifth and eighteenth birthday! Happy sixth and eighteenth birthday! And then came the 7th birthday. The screen flickered but they weren't at her grandparent's house. They were back in Chandler's house, only Chandler was there. He left a short message wishing her a happy birthday, but Emma could see clearly the depression behind her uncle's eyes. And it was the same for the next three birthdays, until finally it faded to black and just turned off.

Emma stared at the screen for a while. She was shocked with the video. Shocked and overjoyed. Chandler never stopped caring about her. Chandler never really left her. Chandler still cared for her, even when his wife died. And so Emma only had one question. Why did _she_ leave _him_? Unsure and desperate for more comfort, Emma hit the rewind button and watched it all again. She was on her third run through when Chandler walked in.

"Emma, I'm hom- What's that?" Chandler asked, staring at the screen. Emma jumped about a foot in the air, startled by his booming voice.

"Oh, I… er… um…"was Emma's brilliant response.

"_Happy Birthday Emma!"_ they both heard the video scream. Chandler knew instantly what video she was watching. He wasn't mad that she spoiled the surprise, not really. He just smiled, put down his groceries, and walked towards the TV. He pulled out the video and smiled at Emma.

"This was supposed to be a surprise" Chandler explained. "For your-"

"Eighteenth Birthday" Emma finished. "I know. I guessed that." There was an awkward silence. Chandler wasn't sure what to say and Emma wasn't sure what to ask. So instead, Chandler put the video back in and pushed play. Emma stared at the screen and soon the starting images came up again. Chandler paused the screen.

"This is Joey" Chandler said, pointing at the man on the far left. "He used to be my roommate before I married your aunt. After Monica… well, after that, I had to move back in with him. Problem with the lease and what not. He now lives in Los Angeles with his girlfriend pursuing his acting career.

"This is Phoebe and her husband Mike. They don't live too far away, but they have two kids and Mikes career to worry about all the time. They don't really get out much anymore, hardly have enough free time for each other these days." Chandler pushed play and waited for Monica to come into the shot again before pushing the pause button once more.

"This is Monica" Chandler said. "Your Aunt. You know, she chose your name. She had picked the name Emma for her own kids, but your mother was pregnant with you before Monica had the chance to have kids. Rachel loved the name Emma so much, Monica gave it to her. Monica was… well, she was your mom's best friend." Chandler stood up and pulled out a photo album. He handed it to Emma and immediately wondered why he never tried this before. Emma opened the book and the first thing she saw was a picture of a blonde woman sitting next to and smiling at a man with black spiked up hair. Her parents.

"Rachel Green and Ross Geller" Chandler said. "They were truly amazing people. Ross was my best friend throughout college and we never lost contact. Rachel was Monica's best friend and Ross had a crush on her since high school. His feelings for her never really died. They really were a wonderful couple, truly in love."

Emma was still slightly emotional from the information she was receiving, but somehow she found it in her to turn the page. She saw a photo of six people sitting on a couch in a coffee house, smiling at the camera. Emma recognised Chandler instantly and soon found her parents, Monica and the other two from the video among the six as well.

"We were quite the group" Chandler said. "That coffee house, that _couch_… was always _ours_. We would meet up every day, talk and laugh and… just enjoy each other's company. We really were the closest of friends, all six of us. We were all at the hospital when your mother was giving birth to you, you know. Waiting for any news and eagerly awaiting the newest addition to our little group. You were such a beautiful little baby."

At that point, Emma couldn't take it. She finally was overcome with emotion and couldn't stop herself from crying. She had never heard so much about her parents, never knew she had missed out on something so great. Chandler wrapped his arm around Emma and allowed her to cry into his chest. Emma closed the album and hugged Chandler right back, sobbing into his shirt. She had lost so much already, she didn't want to lose her Uncle Chandler too. She couldn't. She simply couldn't.

* * *

November 9th, 2012

Emma had been staying with Chandler for just over two weeks. Cassy had gone back to Dobbs Ferry only a couple days ago. Chandler had assured her time and time again that he'd be just find taking care of Emma. In fact, Emma did most of the caring in the house. Whenever Chandler would protest, Emma would just roll her eyes. She had done plenty of house work living with her grandparents. She had to. They weren't exactly as capable and as agile as she would. She was used to the work and didn't quite mind it. Chandler just wished she would go out with her friends and have more fun, rather than spend her time cleaning and cooking.

Chandler had completely changed his work schedule by now. He had morning shifts mostly, finishing work at 4PM. Emma would stay at school for an extra hour so that Chandler could pick her up. They'd then go home where Emma would do her homework and watch a bit of TV. Chandler would mostly do work from home so that maybe, just maybe, he could have a later start the next day. At around 6, it was always a war to see who could get to the kitchen first to cook dinner. Usually, they ended up cooking together, laughing and having a good time while they did. They never had a silent dinner, there was always something to talk about. Emma's crazy health habbits (which Chandler quickly found out she picked up after having to care for her grandparents for so many years) were starting to rub off on Chandler, and he found himself losing weight quickly, much to his delight. After dinner, they would always share the duty of cleaning. They'd end the day by watching a bit of TV (unless, of course, Emma had more homework to do). And then, it was time for bed.

This was Emma's favourite part about her day. Going to bed. Most kids got bed time stories when they went to bed. Emma, on the other hand, got stories of her parents. Of her aunt. Of the crazy times her Uncle and parents had when they were still alive. She loved that part of her night, she loved to hear about her family that she never really got to know. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to find Chandler again. She was finally getting some part of her family back, and she wouldn't trade him for the world.

It was late when Chandler got the call. He ran towards the phone and quickly picked it up, hissing a greeting into it, afraid they had already woken up Emma. Instead, he heard news regarding Jack and Judy Geller. He hung up the phone and walked into Emma's room, needing to tell her the news. He gently woke her up and almost laughed when Emma begged for five more minutes.

"Emma, I'm not waking you up for school" Chandler said with a smile. "I'm waking you up because we need to talk." At his tone, Emma started to pry her eyes open and force herself to sit up.

"This better be good" she grumbled.

"It's about your Gran and Gramps." This woke Emma up.

"Are they alright? Did something happen? Are they-"

"Yes, they're fine" Chandler assured her. "It's more about you…" Emma just stared at him, waiting for the explanation. "You know your grandparents are old, right?"

"…yes…"

"Well, you know it takes a lot to take care of them, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But it's alright, it's not a prob-"

"It is, Emma. It's a big problem. Because, you see, I just got off the phone with Social Services. They worry that your Gran and Gramps won't get the assistance they need. At the same time, they worry about you. if you're constantly taking care of your Gran and Gramps, who would take care of you?"

"…so…"

"Well, your grandparents are moving into a retirement home. There, they can get the attention they need when they need it. They can keep your Gran's cholesterol levels under close eye and they can definitely watch over your Gramps, make sure his blood pressure doesn't get out of control again and prevent another risky accident to happen like last time."

"Will I still be able to visit them?"

"Of course you will. Whenever you want. They're not running away, they just need some care as well."

"Where do I go then? If not with Gran and Gramps, then with who?"

"Well, see, that's what we need to think about now. There are a number of options for you. You can stay with Carol and your half-brother. You can stay with Amy, your mother's sister. You can stay with Phoebe and Mike, you'd love their kids. There's also a foster care system, but that's really last resort, you won't need to-"

"Can I stay here with you?" Chandler was silent for a moment, staring at Emma. He had always figured her staying with him was temporary. He thought that for a few weeks, he'd be the luckiest guy ever. He never thought it would last, especially not if she had the choice. A smile crept onto Chandler's face and soon he was fighting back tears of joy.

"If you really want to, I'm sure we can find a way."

"I really, _really_ want to" Emma insisted. Chandler nodded.

"Alright then. Let's do it."


End file.
